PMT-ish. Emotional. Tired. And impatient for our longed for baby.
Today the clinic called to say our recipient has pulled out of treatment due to medical issues. They offered my profile to a second woman who turned us down because she wants an exclusive donor (ie someone who is donating altruistically and not using any of the eggs themselves). I asked if this means we aren't starting on Day 1 of my next period. The nurse said yes, it does.
I'm so frustrated. I know things are meant to be. I know this obviously wasn't our time. I know we were matched quickly last time so chances are we will be again. I know all of this. But we were SO ready to start. I had my first acupuncture session today to help my body prepare for IVF. Now that just seems futile (we got the call just after we got home).
My poor, patient, loving, wonderful wife, who is amazing and keeps me calm and cuddles me through the frustrated tears reminds me again and again, our baby is coming, it is, it just needs to happen at the right time. And this obviously wasn't it. I just feel so frustrated that I was counting down each and every day to the day I started the pill…and now we are back to an unknown. They might ring tomorrow with a new match. They might ring next week…next month…we just don't know.
Time for a big cup of tea!