Thursday, 10 September 2015

Ready to try again.

We haven't wanted to write about trying to concieve for a while, since we found out that both our lovely blastocysts had to be frozen and we didn't get the chance to try for a pregnancy. There is something about IVF that is just exhausting - preparing yourselves mentally and phsyically for the ups and down of the treatment, holding on to every last little bit of hope that this is your turn and finally your dreams might come true, only to have that come crashing down around you when you are told that not this time, not this month.

We are lucky, we know that. There are thousands of couples out there who would love to be in our position, to be told they have two chances at a pregnancy. And if neither of those work we are in a position to try again. Time is one our side, our health is on our side, and finances mean that another try is entirely doable. But even so, even though you know all of that, after wanting and talking and dreaming and hoping for something for so long, it's hard to be told the wait isn't yet over.

We have a little saying between us "things aren't any different to how they were yesterday." People will interpret this in many different ways, but to us it means that nothings changes because this was always meant to happen. Even though sometimes events suprise you, upset you, and feel like you've been chucked off course - they haven't, this was always meant to happen, you just didn't know it yet.

The last time we wrote about baby making we were off to the Cotswolds to spend some time as a family of three, to allow us some head space and time together, and it was wonderful and magical and reminded us exactly what is important, each other (and Willow, our faithful beautiful girl). My period came on the day we went, and the clinic told us this was good as my body would get back to normal. We also booked our review appointment for the following week with the Consultant. The following week we went back to work, which was a great reminder that life goes on, and life can still be normal, even after the huge rollercoaster of IVF.

The Consultant told us that she didn't know why I had over-responded to the drugs, or why I had ovulated before egg collection. She did say however, that if we needed another round of IVF, then we we would change things slightly - I would begin on a lower dose of the drugs and we would leave 34 hours between trigger and egg collection, not the standard 36. I guess your first round of IVF is always a bit of a guessing game, and you never really know how it's going to go. Then we talked about the embryos we have in the freezer, both of excellent quality she said, and how we will go about transferring them. It is a much more simple process than either of us hoped - on the first day of my next period I will start oestrogen tablets, 3 per day, for 12 days. Then we will go for a scan to check womb lining, and if it looks good we will be booked for embryo transfer about 5 days later, after first starting progesterone pessaries too, so help to prepare the womb and the body for a pregnancy. She said we should take a pregnancy test 16 days later, although 16 days post 5 day transfer is a very long time, so I doubt we would wait that long!

So with the information about what next, and a new prescription for a new set of drugs, there was nothing we could do but wait for my next period to come. When that will be is anyone's guess! But not being the type to sit and wait around for life to happen, we decided to spend some more time doing just what we love, just the two of us. It has been lovely to enjoy the odd glass of wine or two together, to go for meals out and not care about if I'm eating the 'right' things, or how many calories are in something. It's been lovely to spend time with our neice, which has become a regular thing on a Thursday as her mummy has returned to work, and play and run and pick her up and not worry if it's hurting something inside. But now we are ready again, mentally and physically prepared for the next step. We have started to focus on eating good fertility foods again, I have started to take my daily dose of folic acid and vitamin D again, and we have made our next appointment with the acupuncturist in time for starting our next cycle. We go in to our cycle strong, healthy and ready for whatever it brings, wishing with everything that it brings us our very longed for baby. And if we have to wait a little longer then that's fine, because the best things in life really are worth waiting for.


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1 comment:

  1. What an absolutely beautiful quote! You guys are so positive and so grounded - fingers crossed the rest of your journey to a bfp is a pleasant and stress free one :)

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